Sue Clerc and I have a mutual affection for food. I would say we're "foodies," but that would only apply to Sue Clerc. I'm incredibly picky and I call myself an antivegetarian, I don't eat vegetables. Well, I eat carrots, lettuce, and occasional red onion slices in a sammich. Does corn count? Pickles? Probably only partially.
Anyway, we both like food that tastes phenomenal. And I always want to share my "healthy" dishes with her but what I consider to be healthy and what she considers to be healthy are two different things. She eats a strict Paleo diet. I'm including a link for more specifics, but a brief synopsis is that people who only eat "Paleo" are only eating what humans in the Paleolithic era ate. No grains, because they weren't farmers yet, they were hunters/grazers travelling from one area to another once the food supply had been depleted. My granola, no matter how tasty or healthy, is not something that she will eat.
The one HUGE thing that we have in common for food? B A C O N ! ! ! How can you NOT love someone who shares your bacon affinity? I'm even tempted to try some of her Paleo recipes because they have bacon in them. I might even want to eat the meals that have like, cauliflower in them! (did I even spell that right?) While I know the Paleo palette is not for me completely, the bacon dishes might make me eat healthier.
I'm one of those put-off-ers. I'll start eating better on Monday. Or, after this really stressful time. Or, once I get my finances in order. It's always any day other than today (and usually farther out than tomorrow as well). It's like I'm waiting for when it will be easier. But that day will never come.
I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm sad, mad, stressed, sleep deprived, over worked, in need of a "lift." I didn't recognize this right away, Sue Clerc helped me see this. Now that I know this about myself, it seems like I've gotten worse. I can actually feel myself getting fatter.
I know you're sitting there, post-workout, celery stick in hand; reading this (possibly screaming out loud) "so stop eating like that!" To you I say, "I'm sorry I ate the peanut butter off your celery stick."
I know that my problem is fear, more specifically, fear of failure. What if I try to eat better but it doesn't work? What if I don't lose enough weight so that I can start working out? What if I'm just destined to be this size for the rest of my life? What if... What if...
But I know that working out will cause my asthma to completely choke me out. I don't know if you've ever suffered from an asthma attack but it is one of the scariest things ever! Truly! Not being able to breathe is terrifying! It starts as a heavy weight on your chest and then you can only take really shallow breaths. You can actually feel your lungs constricting, like they're allergic to the air you're trying to feed them. And then the panic sets in... "Where's my inhaler? Do I have enough in me to walk over there? Will I be able to find it once I get there?" And guess what folks? Fear makes it WORSE! Then you go into full-on panic attack! You can hardly even take in ANY air. And once you have the inhaler, you have to try to take a deep breath and completely exhale it out, then take another deep breath as you inhale the vapor that comes out of the inhaler, then you have to try to hold it in for 30 seconds! Did you know that? The medical industry decided that the best way to help a person breathe better is to force them to... breathe better. ARGH!
Anyway, most of the time, you have to take about 3-4 puffs to completely stop the attack from happening. The whole process takes about five minutes, but it feels like 5 years. It's seriously enough to make me not want to even try exercise.
I'm not asking for your pity. I brought this all on myself. I am well aware of this. And I know it will get better. Especially since I have such supportive people in my life. My new husband, Sue Clerc, Andrea, Erica, Lisa G., and of course, my kiddos!
I'm a pretty lucky lady. It'll just take a little while... and a little patience.
See you soon!
